Why why? WHY??? Why the fuck is this happening again? I've thought we have settled down and solved everything. Why the fuck someone has to interfere with us? Fucking untrue nonsense stuff and being accused for nothing just hurt my heart so much. Why all these quarrelling has to happen again? Can't we just cool off and make peace? The words you said to me are way too hurting. I just don't understand what's going on around you and happening to you. What are you thinking of? What do you want? Can you just let me know? Suddenly you came saying, Darling, I love you, I missed you. I wanna kiss you when I see you. I wanna hug you. Bla bla bla.. The next minute you came saying, fuck you, fuck off, you bastard asshole jerk, I really really don't like you anymore, you don't matter to me, you are really driving me insane, just go away please. Bla bla bla.. WHY?! WHY LIKE THIS?! Your constant coming and going just makes me feel so lost, confused and hurt.

Everything's happening in all of a sudden. I really couldn't take it anymore. I slept happily and soundly yesterday. But waking up with a hell lot of worries and problems. I'm tired.. I'm really tired. Why can't we just maintain ourselves like yesterday's? I'm so contented and happy yesterday, do you know that? Please.. I'm in camp and hearing all these problems just makes me even harder to control my pain and misery. Problems cooked up constantly and I'm restricted by army stuff because I have to stay in. The feeling is totally fucked up. This is an issue that no female can understand it. Not even my own mom. Try serving NS, then you can personally know how it feels.

Please.. Just treat it as I beg you. Can we get back on track like yesterday? Just friends who show love and care. I don't wish to quarrel anymore. If I've offended you in anything I'm sincerely sorry. Just treat it as from the start, I've failed and I'm the one who caused everything. If we can be like what we're yesterday, just blame it all on me right now. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything.

- Vanessa, I miss you.

2:10 PM