I give you a Rose,
A symbol of Romance
For what my heart knows.
The kindled fires to dance.
This is for you.

Thus I give you my Heart.
The symbol of what is me.
For you are my dearest sweetheart,
This is what I was meant to be.
This is for you.

Finally, I give my Love.
The symbol of my soul,
Faithful as a flight of a white dove.
My heart is now complete whole.
This is only for you.

Now I give you my Soul.
The symbol of my commitment,
You fill my heart’s empty hole
That feeds my nourishment.
This is for you.



Let us start afresh for real.

1:03 AM

Went to catch Misery Signals live today! But the location was quite cocked up. Same goes for the crowd. Its located at a lounge at a community centre! LOL! The crowd is ... speechless. Most of them are young. Secondary school students? Age from 15 to 18? Haha! But overall its quite a not bad gig. Enjoyed it.

Once the last and final is set. There's nothing left to regret. Feelings inside are burning real. Cuts were done and scars were left behind. Let's make this chance go real and lasting.

11:37 PM

WATCHED DMC TODAY! Damn entertaining and funny! Check out the anime too! Krauser rocks and hail to all Death Metal bands!

Finally got my SONICGEAR Ear Pump!

Glossy Black. :)

9:20 PM

Seconds of pleasure with a pinch of luck. A lifetime of relieve instead of a lifetime of regret. Good to hear and pleasant to carry on. Be safe, not sorry.

Peace to all. Love is here to stay.

11:44 PM

Because we or I had feared and we wished or wanted to take the easier way out, this is the price of Love. Staying. Such fools we are.

12:27 AM

See you soon! Wo Hai Ai Ni! Hug. (How sweet can it be? :D)

1:02 AM

Watched "Coming Soon" at AMK Hub. It was my first time that I've set foot there. Fucking "Ah Beng Haven" please.. The movie was superb. Excellent storyline! Have never seen a horror movie with this kind of concept. Double thumbs up! For information, its the same director of "Shutter" and "Alone". Best horror flicks that I've ever seen. For those who haven't watched it and are horror fans, PLEASE DO GO AND CATCH IT! This movie will scare you from the second you step inside the movie theatre. SERIOUSLY..

You guys will know what I meant after watching it. Heh heh..

9:02 PM

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you.

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. All days are nights to see till I see thee, and nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you.

Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too.

- Vanny, I miss you.

3rd session completed. 4th coming soon.

2:02 AM

Yet again. Once again. Expected again.

5:42 AM

Scenery at the top of a cliff is beautiful. Yes, you said that. Brought me up there together, hand in hand. Yes, you did that.

When I'm at the top, feeling all captivated, all I know next, was a hard push by you. Falling was expected. Yes, I fell. But it felt like a free fall. Seems like it never ends. Time to time, I'm just stucked in mid air. Waiting..

Finally, the end is here, I landed. My aftermath results, left broken, dishearten and most of all, fucked up. Leaving me to die is all you can do. Leaving me in confusion is all you can do. Leaving me to suffer in your own selfishness is all you can do.

Please.. Please spare a tiny thought for me will you? I just can't hold on any longer.

9:14 PM

Why why? WHY??? Why the fuck is this happening again? I've thought we have settled down and solved everything. Why the fuck someone has to interfere with us? Fucking untrue nonsense stuff and being accused for nothing just hurt my heart so much. Why all these quarrelling has to happen again? Can't we just cool off and make peace? The words you said to me are way too hurting. I just don't understand what's going on around you and happening to you. What are you thinking of? What do you want? Can you just let me know? Suddenly you came saying, Darling, I love you, I missed you. I wanna kiss you when I see you. I wanna hug you. Bla bla bla.. The next minute you came saying, fuck you, fuck off, you bastard asshole jerk, I really really don't like you anymore, you don't matter to me, you are really driving me insane, just go away please. Bla bla bla.. WHY?! WHY LIKE THIS?! Your constant coming and going just makes me feel so lost, confused and hurt.

Everything's happening in all of a sudden. I really couldn't take it anymore. I slept happily and soundly yesterday. But waking up with a hell lot of worries and problems. I'm tired.. I'm really tired. Why can't we just maintain ourselves like yesterday's? I'm so contented and happy yesterday, do you know that? Please.. I'm in camp and hearing all these problems just makes me even harder to control my pain and misery. Problems cooked up constantly and I'm restricted by army stuff because I have to stay in. The feeling is totally fucked up. This is an issue that no female can understand it. Not even my own mom. Try serving NS, then you can personally know how it feels.

Please.. Just treat it as I beg you. Can we get back on track like yesterday? Just friends who show love and care. I don't wish to quarrel anymore. If I've offended you in anything I'm sincerely sorry. Just treat it as from the start, I've failed and I'm the one who caused everything. If we can be like what we're yesterday, just blame it all on me right now. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything.

- Vanessa, I miss you.

2:10 PM

"DEARIE, i love you still!" These 5 words that I've recieved from you today has just made my day a fantastic one. Its like seeing all the dark clouds disappearing and followed by a rainbow hanging up high in the sky. I'm more than happy once again to reply you that I've loved you all along and I really do mean it. Even though we're just friends right now.

Seeing the text messages you sent today just makes me happy and forgetting about the unhappy issues from the past. I wished we would carry on like this, and like what you've said. We're friends. :) I'm trying to move on. Yes, I am.

If I were to come up with a summary about this relationship, I'm eager to say that I've learnt alot, changed alot and thought alot. Thank you Vanessa. I'm very pleased to have met you. :)

- Vanessa, I miss you.

11:16 AM

It feels like I've cried a thousand nights and still counting. My life has been a living dead ever since you were gone. I really wanna hold you tight. A chance is all that I can wish for now. I'm deeply sorry about the shoutings, the vulgar words and the threatening stuff. If I were to be brought down by the bullet as a punishment and you'll forgive me. I won't hesitate. Please.. give me a sign.

- Vanessa, I miss you.

1:39 PM

I didn't get it did i? The full extend of time. How long and how much is years? Yes it hit. Measuring time to age and I tell myself not to look down at what I'm wearing and who I've become. It's not that I'm growing old I just refuse to grow up and let go. Or simply, just move on that I must say. Its all too sudden to accept.

I lived on songs that created portals to bring me through time to the girl that I was and the shadow of what you were. That was how I did it to put you on replay and I on hold. The room, different times. Alcohol didn't work nor the smoke to clear the haze. Rather I saw you clearly for the first time. Closer to the grave you don't remember me or why I was there. I miss the ghost of our youths. Too many times we've died there.

More of I've missed the times we shared and the love we gave. The million tears that I've shed. The scar you've left behind. Its all linked up to form this unforgettable memory.

- Vanessa, I miss you.

11:46 PM